Excellent work, Mr. Gruber!
Meredith OldenrodGather round, denizens of the webinnical, and bear witness to the endlessly cunning intellect and inscrutable debating tactics of Mr. John Gruber, he of the bafflingly estimable Daring Fireball, as he tears apart a recent rumor that Foxconn, the Chinese manufacturer responsible for constructing much of Apple's computerized products, are already gearing up for what will most definitely be an impressively large production run.
The title of Mr. Gruber's post is "Too Soon," and the response to these rumors, staggering in its length and thoughtfulness, extensive in its cross-referencing and footnotery, bewildering in its insight and alacrity, is the epically lengthened 'No, it's not.'
'No, it's not.'
Such wit upon you, sir! My goodness, brains such as yours, so overstuffed into your cranium, surely are being wasted reporting on such inconsequentialities as Apple production rumors. No! Yours is an intellect best employed in the changing of cultural tides, of embracing and englightening scientific viewpoints. Yours should be the sacred task of importance, of aligning the planet to progress, sir! You should be employed by the religious and psuedo-religious organizations tasked with eschewing the ideals of science, backed up with mere centuries of endlessly consistent evidence, that evolution is a fact. Surely, you could tear down any testimony on the fact, from any expert, on any level, with but a merest twitch of your lips.
Hapless Scientist: 'Evolution is a fact, supported by 150 years of scientific research, which we have just spent the past eighteen days recounting in staggering detail.'
John Gruber: 'No, it's not.'
Newspaper, the next day: 'Evolution disproven!'
Congratulations on your intellect, Mr. Gruber, so towering that all around must most assuredly be encloaked in darkness every moment of the day. Kudos!
Reader Comments (3)
If this was actually funny, I'd be your biggest fan.
But it's not. This is retarded. If you want to parody something, you need to actually employ technique. All you do here is cram a ton of backhandedly non-complimentary superlatives into a blog post in a lame attempt to grab eyeballs vis-a-vis Gruber's coattails.
C'mon, man! Gruber is low-hanging fruit for parody. Come strong or don't come at all.
While you're right that Gruber's response isn't much, it's far more than any rumor which involves the phrase "reliable source at FoxConn" deserves. Digitimes has one of those about every other day, and they're always wrong. Until these "rumors" involve something substantial more than a "reliable source at FoxConn", the rational reply will remain "no, it's not."
Sigh.